How My Fiancé’s Attempt at ‘Revenge’ on Her Childhood ‘Bully’ Turned Our Lives Upside Down
What happens when past trauma turns into obsession, and an innocent need for closure spirals into a public scandal? For one woman, her fiancé’s decision to confront a childhood bully took an unexpected and damaging turn. What was meant to be a confrontation ended with harassment charges, job loss, and the collapse of their once-stable relationship. In this post, the narrator shares their side of the story and reflects on how their fiancé’s obsession with revenge has left their relationship on the brink of collapse.
This woman was thrilled to get engaged to the love of her life
But when her fiancée decided to get revenge on a middle school bully, their entire relationship began to crumble
The Breaking Point: How a Childhood Incident Led to a Relationship Crisis
This whole thing feels like a nightmare, but it’s real. My fiancé, Ella, and I have been together for five years. It’s been mostly good, but we’ve had our ups and downs, just like any relationship. When we met, we bonded over our shared struggles as queer kids, but as time went on, something in Ella changed. It started with her decision to start seeing a therapist after joining an anxiety support group. I didn’t think much of it at first, but soon, I realized that her therapist wasn’t the right fit. She kept telling Ella that everything wrong in her life was someone else’s fault and that she was always the victim.
Ella began focusing on a girl from her past, Bev, who, according to Ella, was the root of all her anxiety. The story she told was that Bev, back in middle school, used to call her a “pig” for belching in the lunchroom. Ella described herself as the “gross and dirty girl” who had no friends and was always mocked for being different. I can’t deny that middle school can be tough. Kids are cruel, and that can leave deep scars. However, the way Ella started fixating on Bev was disturbing.
For months, Ella talked about confronting this girl, who, to be clear, hadn’t even crossed her mind in decades. She wanted to bring up these old wounds, thinking it would provide some closure or healing. But I didn’t see it that way. I told her over and over that it seemed unhealthy to hold on to this grudge for so long. I even tried to help her focus on healing from the real issues, but she was set on her path. The worst part? Her therapist encouraged this unhealthy obsession, agreeing with her that confronting Bev was essential for her mental health.
The Stalking and Harassment: A Descent Into Obsession
Things went from bad to worse when I discovered Ella had found Bev on Facebook. I thought it was odd at first, but it escalated quickly. She started stalking her. It wasn’t just idle curiosity; Ella was going deep, finding out where Bev worked, what she was doing with her life, and who she was with. Then came the phone calls to Bev’s workplace, where Ella accused her of being a “sociopath” and even called the police to ensure Bev’s kids weren’t being abused. I was horrified. At first, I thought maybe I was overreacting, but then I saw the posts on a burner account she had created to leave negative reviews on Bev’s job. Ella was proud of her actions, boasting about it online, calling it “pro revenge.”
I should’ve known then that things were spiraling, but I was too stunned to act. A few weeks ago, everything reached its breaking point. Ella confronted Bev at her job, recording the encounter, thinking she was somehow “righting the wrongs” of the past. But instead, she was met with a much harsher reality. Bev pressed charges for harassment, and Ella was arrested. Suddenly, the person I loved was tangled in a public scandal, and I didn’t even know who she was anymore.
Ella was fired from her job, too. She worked with kids, and after the news of her arrest spread, there was no way they could keep her on. She tried to justify everything by saying she was just acting out of trauma and PTSD, the result of her therapist’s misguided advice. But the more she talked, the more I felt repulsed by her actions. Her behavior wasn’t the result of some past trauma. It was a product of obsession, poor judgment, and a complete lack of accountability.
Apologizing to Bev: The Final Straw
The hardest part of all this was when I reached out to Bev. I felt it was the right thing to do, not just for Ella but for me. I wanted to apologize for what Ella had put her through. When I finally got a response from Bev, I was stunned. She was incredibly kind, but she begged me to leave her alone. She apologized for calling Ella “gross” all those years ago, but I could tell she just wanted to move on with her life. She didn’t deserve this. And I told her that.
But Ella wasn’t happy about this. She was furious that I had apologized to Bev. She couldn’t understand why I didn’t support her “fight” against this old bully. The truth is, I probably would’ve acted the same as Bev back then. A middle school kid dealing with someone who’s belching all the time? That’s not bullying, that’s just kids being kids. It wasn’t even personal. But Ella was consumed by the idea that Bev had ruined her life, and now, she felt justified in everything she had done.
The Collapse of Our Relationship
Now, I’m left in a situation I never imagined. Ella is consumed with this delusion that she’s the hero of some “pro revenge” story. She posts about it online, and her enablers continue to encourage her to keep fighting for some misguided sense of justice. Meanwhile, I’ve completely lost respect for her. I don’t recognize the person she’s become. Her actions have destroyed our relationship, her career, and her mental health. I never thought I would be here, but I don’t think I can continue. I’m already looking into moving out and finding a new place to live.
I’ve never been part of something so ridiculous. My fiancé has alienated herself from everyone who used to care about her, and now she’s only surrounded by online people who feed into her warped sense of reality. This isn’t the person I fell in love with. The woman I loved would have dealt with her past trauma in a healthy way, not let it consume her entire existence.
Later, the author responded to several readers and shared some more details
Is There Any Coming Back From This?
I don’t know if our relationship can survive this. I’ve tried to be supportive, but I can’t stand by and watch her destroy herself and everyone around her. I want her to heal, but I don’t think she’s ready. Until she admits she has a problem and takes real responsibility for what she’s done, I don’t think there’s a way back.
So, I’m moving on. The respect I had for Ella is gone. And with that, I’m left wondering: what happens when the person you love gets so lost in their own obsession that they lose sight of who they are?
