Young Dad, 21, Feels Heartbroken After His Girlfriend Says She Loves Their Baby but Wants Her Old Life Back
A 21-year-old dad is going through a tough time after his 20-year-old girlfriend told him she misses her life before having a baby. Their daughter is now seven months old, but raising a child has been harder than they expected.
The young father loves being a dad and has gotten used to his new responsibilities. His girlfriend, however, is having a hard time adjusting to motherhood. She loves their daughter but misses going out with friends and having time for herself.
Things got more serious when she brought up adoption. She said her mother might still be willing to adopt their daughter, just as she had offered during the pregnancy. This left the young father worried about their relationship and their family’s future.
The father has no interest in giving up his child. But as his girlfriend spends more time away from home, he is left handling more of the childcare. Now, he is worried about their relationship, their daughter’s future, and how much longer he can manage everything.
They Had Been Dating for Just 10 Months When Everything Changed
The couple’s relationship was still fairly new when they learned they were expecting a baby. They had been together for around 10 months, and neither felt ready to become a parent.
The young man was especially worried about how much their lives would change. He knew people who had children and understood that raising a baby meant giving up a lot of freedom.
Still, he didn’t want to make the decision for his girlfriend. He told her he would support whatever she chose, even though he had serious doubts about their ability to handle parenthood.
Her friends and family shared those concerns. According to the father, almost everyone close to her tried to convince her that having a baby wasn’t the right choice at that time.
But she wouldn’t change her mind.
Looking back, he now wonders if she was partly determined to keep the baby because so many people were telling her not to.
He can’t know for sure what drove her decision. What he does know is that the life they once enjoyed has changed completely.
He Gave Up Partying and Found Something He Never Expected
Before becoming parents, the couple had busy social lives. They had plenty of friends, enjoyed parties, and regularly went out together.
Neither was used to staying home and planning their day around someone else’s needs.
But once their daughter arrived, the young father began making changes.
He stopped going out so often and spending money on parties. His priorities shifted toward caring for his little girl and becoming a responsible parent.
What surprised him most was how much he enjoyed fatherhood.
He hadn’t expected to love being a dad as much as he does. Of course, there are exhausting days, and sometimes he misses the freedom he had before.
There have been plenty of moments when he wanted to go somewhere or do something fun, only to remember that he couldn’t.
It was disappointing, but he accepted it as part of raising a child.
His girlfriend seemed to make similar changes at first. Sadly, that didn’t last.
Their Daughter’s Colic Made the First Few Months Exhausting
When their daughter was born, both parents seemed happy. The young mother appeared deeply attached to her baby, just as her boyfriend was.
But things became much harder when their daughter started crying constantly.
They eventually learned she had colic, which made the first few months especially stressful.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, colic can cause long periods of crying that are difficult to soothe. Even loving, patient parents can struggle when nothing seems to comfort their baby.
For this couple, those early months were rough.
The good news was that their daughter’s colic eventually improved. By the time she was seven months old, things had become much easier.
But the mother’s feelings about parenthood were moving in the opposite direction.
Going Back to Work Seemed to Change Everything
When their daughter was around three or four months old, the young mother decided to take a break from college and find a job.
Her boyfriend noticed a change around that time.
She began talking more openly about how unhappy she felt with motherhood.
Her days had become a routine of going to work, coming home, caring for the baby, and falling into bed exhausted.
Then she would wake up and do it all again.
She missed spending time with her friends. She missed being able to leave the house whenever she wanted without thinking about childcare.
Most of all, she missed having control over her own time.
She eventually admitted that becoming a mother wasn’t what she had imagined.
She also regretted ignoring the warnings from her friends and family during her pregnancy.
That was difficult for her boyfriend to hear, especially because he had tried to explain those same concerns before their daughter was born.
She Said She Loved Their Daughter but Missed Her Old Life More
One conversation left the young father particularly upset.
His girlfriend told him that although she loved their daughter, she missed her old life even more.
She also admitted that she preferred the person her boyfriend had been before he became a father.
For him, that was confusing.
He had worked hard to become more responsible. He was spending less time partying, putting his daughter first, and trying to build a stable family life.
Yet those were some of the very changes his girlfriend seemed unhappy about.
When he reminded her that they couldn’t simply change their minds about becoming parents, she brought up something he never wanted to consider.
Her mother had offered to adopt their daughter during the pregnancy.
Now his girlfriend wondered if that offer was still available.
The young father was firmly against the idea.
He loved his daughter and wanted to raise her himself. Giving her up wasn’t something he was willing to consider.
But the fact that his girlfriend had suggested adoption left him worried about how she truly felt.
He Is Taking On More Childcare While She Goes Out With Friends
The problem isn’t limited to what his girlfriend says.
Her behavior has also changed.
She has started spending more time outside the house, often going out with friends while he stays home with their daughter.
He doesn’t believe parents should give up their social lives completely. In fact, he thinks both of them need time to relax and see friends.
But he feels that the responsibility is no longer being shared fairly.
When his girlfriend goes out, she usually doesn’t want to bring their daughter along, even when the plans would make it easy to do so.
He still meets his friends, too, but much less often than before. And when he does, he brings his daughter with him at least half the time.
That difference is starting to frustrate him.
He feels as though he is building his life around their daughter while his girlfriend is trying to return to the life she had before.
The more she pulls away from parenting duties, the more he has to take on.
And after months of trying to adjust, he is beginning to feel worn down.
His Girlfriend Admits She Is Jealous of How Easily He Became a Father
There is another painful part of their situation.
His girlfriend has admitted that she feels jealous of him.
She sees how naturally he has adjusted to fatherhood and believes he is better at parenting than she is.
That makes her feel worse about herself.
The father recognizes that he may be having an easier time accepting their new life. He doesn’t expect her to feel exactly the same way he does.
He also wants to support her and make sure she gets breaks.
But he is struggling to understand how to help someone who seems increasingly unhappy with being a parent.
His own frustration is growing, too.
He doesn’t want to become bitter toward his girlfriend, but he can already feel resentment building.
He Has Started Thinking About Breaking Up but Fears Being Away From His Daughter
The relationship is now under serious strain.
The young father admits that his girlfriend’s behavior sometimes makes him question whether he wants to stay with her.
Still, he doesn’t believe breaking up right now would solve their problems.
His biggest concern is their daughter.
He doesn’t want to spend less time with her, and he worries about who would handle most of the childcare if he moved out.
At the moment, he already feels like the parent taking on more responsibility.
Separating could make their living arrangements and parenting schedule even more complicated.
He also hasn’t given up on his girlfriend.
He wants to know how to support her without ignoring his own feelings or allowing all the childcare to fall on him.
But he doesn’t know how to respond when she talks about having someone else adopt their baby.
That is the part of the situation he finds especially difficult.
Could Postpartum Depression Be Part of the Problem?
The girlfriend’s feelings raise an important question: could she be dealing with postpartum depression, or is she struggling to accept the changes that come with motherhood?
There isn’t enough information in the father’s account to know.
According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG), postpartum depression can develop anytime during the first year after childbirth.
It can involve sadness, anxiety, exhaustion, and feelings that make everyday tasks difficult.
An unexpected pregnancy, poor sleep, emotional stress, and major life changes can also affect how someone feels after having a baby. ACOG+1
The girlfriend has described several difficult feelings, including regret, exhaustion, and unhappiness with her daily routine.
Those feelings don’t automatically mean she has postpartum depression. Some parents struggle with losing their independence without having a mental health condition.
But her growing unhappiness and withdrawal from parenting are reasons to take her feelings seriously.
ACOG recommends screening for depression and anxiety during postpartum care. A healthcare professional can help determine whether someone needs mental health treatment or other support. ACOG+1
For this young mother, speaking with a doctor or mental health professional could be a useful next step.
The Father’s Emotional Health Matters, Too
Much of the attention in situations like this naturally goes toward the mother.
But the father’s emotional well-being deserves attention as well.
He is caring for a baby, managing relationship problems, and worrying about his family’s future.
He is also trying to avoid becoming angry with someone he still wants to help.
The NHS explains that fathers and partners can also experience depression after the birth of a child.
That doesn’t mean this father is depressed. His account does, however, show that he is under a great deal of pressure.
Having reliable childcare, time to rest, and support from trusted family members could help reduce some of that pressure.
And if the couple wants to work on their relationship, couples counseling may give them a place to talk about their feelings and responsibilities without every conversation turning into an argument.
Why the Adoption Conversation Needs to Be Taken Seriously
One of the most troubling parts of the story is the mother’s suggestion that her own mother could adopt their daughter.
It isn’t clear whether she genuinely wants to give up parenting or whether she said it during a moment of frustration.
Those are very different situations.
The father has made his position clear. He wants to raise his daughter and does not agree with the idea of adoption.
If his girlfriend continues bringing it up, they may need to have a calm, serious conversation about what she actually wants.
Does she need more help with childcare? Does she want to stop being a parent? Or is she feeling so overwhelmed that she cannot imagine things getting better?
The answers matter.
Adoption also involves legal rights and formal procedures. It is not simply a decision that one parent can assume is settled because a relative has offered to care for the child.
The exact rules depend on where the family lives. If the discussion becomes serious, the father could seek advice from a qualified family law attorney about parental rights, custody, and adoption.
For now, there is no indication that an adoption has been arranged or that the couple has made a final decision.
A Young Father Who Wants to Keep His Family Together
What makes this situation especially sad is that the couple seems to be experiencing parenthood in two very different ways.
The father has found happiness in a role he never expected to enjoy.
His girlfriend, meanwhile, is mourning the freedom and social life she had before their daughter arrived.
Neither expected parenting to be easy. But their different reactions have created a growing distance between them.
He wants to give her room to enjoy life outside motherhood, but he also needs her to share the work of raising their child.
He wants to protect their relationship, but he doesn’t want to lose himself trying to keep everything together.
And above all, he wants his daughter to grow up loved and cared for.
There is no simple answer to what happens next.
The couple may need outside support, more honest conversations, and a clearer plan for sharing parenting responsibilities. The mother’s emotional health also deserves attention before anyone treats her feelings as a final decision about motherhood.
For now, the young father is caught between supporting the woman he loves and protecting the life he has built with his daughter.
He knows he cannot make his girlfriend enjoy being a mother.
What he is still trying to figure out is how to help her without giving up the family he has come to love.
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At just 21, this young father is dealing with responsibilities he never imagined having so soon. He loves his seven-month-old daughter and has accepted how much his life has changed. Sadly, his girlfriend is struggling to do the same.
Her feelings don’t mean she doesn’t love her baby. She may be overwhelmed, exhausted, or dealing with postpartum mental health challenges. But her growing distance from parenting is leaving her boyfriend with more responsibilities and plenty of unanswered questions.
For now, open communication, shared parenting responsibilities, and professional support could help them understand what is really going wrong. His girlfriend deserves help with her feelings, but he also deserves support and time for himself.
The biggest concern is their daughter’s happiness and well-being. Whatever happens to their relationship, she needs a safe, loving, and stable home.
The young father isn’t asking for his old life back. He simply wants his girlfriend to understand that their daughter needs both of them.
And perhaps the hardest part is realizing that, no matter how much he loves his family, he cannot make that decision for her.
